To Save You From Yourself
by Kronoskingofthemonkeypeople
Summary: Post 3x24. A single bullet would never stop Kate from falling further down the rabbit hole, and Rick knows it. As she hunts down the shooter, will Rick let her face danger again? Will she push him away? Will this make the 4 month wait slightly easier?
1. Chapter I

**To Save You From Yourself – Chapter I**

Numb.

He stared into the faces opposite him in the cold hospital waiting him, their eyes drained of all emotions, their bodies still recovering from the double knockout blow they had received an hour before. Not that he registered any of their feelings. He was just numb. He knew Alexis was holding his hand, his hand which was still caked with Kate's cold blood, his hand that tenderly stroked away Kate's dried tear before his mother forced him away from her body, as Lanie put pressure down on Kate's wound.

But he couldn't feel any of this. He felt like a ghost in his own prison, devoid of all thoughts.

_Kate, I love you. I love you Kate._

The voice from his memory stabbed him in the gut. Stop thinking Rick. Stop thinking about it.

He heard a anxious tapping noise and glanced over to see Jim Beckett's blood shot eyes fixed in determination as his nervously tapped his foot on the floor. He let Jim down. He knew it. Jim entrusted him with this one thing and he failed. He was too slow. He knew there was something wrong at the cemetery but he let Kate slip through his fingers…

His brow furrowed as he grasped on to Alexis' hand tighter. Never again. He'll be faster next time. He'll save her. Always.

_Next time?_

The worrying thought flew out of his head as a tall figure in scrubs came charging up to them. Rick looked up anxiously in hope of news but his face fell when he recognised the doctor, his dark face torn with pain. Josh.

"I..." He pulled off his scrub cab and ran his hand through his black hair as he look around at the surprised faces in the waiting room, then caught his eye on one. "You must be Kate's father." He moved up to Jim with outstretched hands and crouched down beside him. "I just scrubbed out then when they told me." He carefully shook the father's limp hand. "Listen I…" Rick couldn't help but glare at Josh as his voice chocked with emotion. "…I came here to say that I'm going to find out everything I can about Kate. I know the surgeon, I'll find out the news, and I'll tell you." His eyes flicked to Rick then back to Jim. "You won't be in the dark any more. I'll be as quick as I can." With a nod Jim and a glance at Ryan and Esposito, he was gone. The thought passed Rick's mind that he should say thank you, but the words couldn't pass though his mouth. He hadn't said anything to anyone expect Kate.

It was a long, quiet wait until Josh returned. No one had the desire to talk, as if they were all holding their breath, waiting for the judgement.

He felt Alexis' other hand encircle his as Josh slowly strode back up to them. Rick felt he was smacked back to reality as he shot up from the hard plastic chair and faced Josh.

"Well?" He chocked out.

Josh took in a deep breath. "The good news is, the bullet had entry and exit. It had a straight path through her stomach and a kidney. If the surgery goes as planned, she should be out in a few hours and hopefully have a full recovery."

There was a collective sigh in the waiting room, as if a crushing weight had dropped from their shoulders.

Except Rick. He studied Josh's face intensely. "But?" He knew words. He knew when there was more to be said.

"But…" Josh glanced at him. "There is a chance her injured kidney will fail. A small chance but… a chance."

"She'll fight through it." Esposito's voice rang through as he hugged Lanie closer to his side. "Nothing can keep Beckett down."

"No." Rick's deep voiced murmured as he sat back down by Alexis. "Nothing…"

"Richard." His mother's voice broke him out of his trance as a steaming paper cup appeared in front of him, encircled in perfectly manicured hands. "Drink up dear, you need the comfort." He had never been one for tea, but he diligently took the paper cup and sipped at the weak drink, his body still on autopilot. Martha stroked his knee with her thumb, and looked him in the eyes knowingly. With a small smile she moved over to Jim and handed him a second paper cup, and offered him her hand with a secret empathetic whisper in his ear.

Rick looked over to Josh, who had been waiting with them in the foyer, sitting away from the others as he fiddled with his pager. Suddenly his sullen face turned as he looked down the hallway. Rick quickly followed his glance and his heart skipped as he saw a sombre doctor walk towards them.

"My name is Dr Creber, you're here for Detective Beckett?" The surgeon nodded to Ryan and Esposito in there now rumpled uniforms.

"Yes." Rick quickly interjected. "How is she?"

"The surgery was a success." Creber gave a tired smile as Rick dropped his cup of tea and Ryan and Esposito pulled each other in for a relieved hug to Lanie and Jenny's amusement. "We're still closely monitoring her kidney function but her vitals are all looking very promising. She's a healthy woman."

"Can I see her?" Jim's struggling voice rose up.

Dr Creber looked at the men in uniform then at the other doctor who stood up from his chair next to them. "Well, visitors are usually strictly prohibited…"

"This is the father of New York's finest detective." Josh tried to convince his friend. "You know he won't be any problem."

Creber looked over to Jim, then back at Josh. "You owe me." He murmured, then turned back to Jim. "Ok, if you follow me I'll take you to her room."

"Richard Castle will come with me." Jim determinedly pronounced as he stood up.

Rick looked at him in shock. "Sir, I – "

"Listen it's hard enough having you in there so soon." Dr Creber tried to reason with him as kindly as he could. "But a non-family member?"

Jim took a step over to Rick as he debated in his mind whether he should reject the father's offer or not. He knew it was the right thing to do to let his father be alone with his daughter but this was Kate – it was so painful the sensation of not being by her side, by not being _them_; that he needed to take any opportunity to be near her, to see her.

"I need him with me." Jim drew his line is the sand as the surgeon gave a frustrated sigh. "I'm not going without him."

Dr Creber looked over to Josh as he stared at Rick then turned his conflicted eyes back to his friend. "Your choice." Josh's small voice answered.

Creber shook his head. "Alright, but only for the NYPD. This way."

**N/B**

**Oh hai there! Yes, this is YET ANOTHER post 3x24 fic. Sick of them yet? Let's hope not! Cause otherwise I be screwed! Not literally though…I prefer to be 'soniced'. **

'**Nuff of that though – this chapter: Yes, well this is pretty much me just spewing out some stuff, since my head is sort of in the same frame of mind as Castle's in this chapter. Numb. But yeah, I read the interview with Andrew W Marlowe (in whom we trust) and I started to get interested in the long haul of the story after the season finale – so consider this my dry run of season 4. Cause we got a long wait till the real one. **

**Oh, and sorry bout the Josh but he needs to be there if only to be thrown away. YAY!**

**So, if you think this is a bland start – it shall be juicier! All I need is your precious reviews! Oh sweet delectable critique, how I yearn for you! Or is that just naan bread? Hmm…. maybe both. So, while I'll sort out the naan bread, you can sort out the reviews. That a good deal? No? Well then, no naan bread for you!**

**Just joking. Of course you get naan bread. I'm not that mean and egotistical. ….or am I?**


	2. Chapter II

**To Save You From Yourself – Chapter II**

The general chaos of the hospital seemed like a blur to him as he drifted down the vinyl floored hallway. Jim's hands clutched at his arm as they walked together to Kate's room, but he didn't know whether it was himself or Jim who was looking for the strength to hold on to.

How could he possibly feel now, his own daughter gunned down before his eyes? What if it had been Alexis?

Rick gulped down hard and straightened up.

Keep it together Castle. Keep it together for _her_. You were the one she meant, the one she was lucky to have stand by her. You're the only one left who can help her. Don't screw it up.

Dr Creber stopped at a doorway then turned to Jim. "If ah…" The surgeon started cautiously. "If anyone tells you you can't be here just…" he looked in Rick's dull blue eyes. "Tell them to deal with me." He gave a comforting smile then reached to the handle and opened the door.

Rick felt as if a towering wall of emotion had just crashed down on top of him. There was Kate, lying on a gurney in the middle of the sterilised room. She looked so…frail. He could hardly believe it. This was Detective Kate Beckett, professional badass; hard as nails yet intoxicating in her strength of spirit. But she wasn't any of this now.

He found himself letting of Jim as he was pulled to her side, immediately laying a tender hand to her pale cheek. He never noticed how small she really was, how delicate, but now as his large hand came to brush away a strand of her chestnut hair, he was scared to even touch her.

"Kate." A loving whisper escaped from his mouth. He moved his hand down to her side and lightly covered her limp hand with his.

* * *

><p>He shifted in the uncomfortable chair, ran his hand though his hair and scratched his chin. Stubble. He had lost track of time in the hospital, his thoughts shifting him in and out of the present as his haunted and precious memories caught up with him. He rubbed his hand along his prickly skin and looked out the window, the world outside now shrouded in night. He must have been here for hours.<p>

He looked next to him and saw Jim sitting in concentration, his hands cradling a paper cup. Rick saw he had a paper cup next to him too. It was filled with coffee but he had no idea where it came from. Absentmindedly he picked it up and took a sip, but its contents were now cold. He swallowed the stale coffee anyway and set the cup back down.

He turned back to Kate. He had moved his chair as close as he could to the gurney and had offered it to Jim but he had slunk back to the corner of the room instead. Rick had never left her side since he saw her, one arm propped up on the bed next to hers, in hope that some sort of closeness of proximity would let her know that he was there. That he would always be there.

Her cheeks were starting to regain a bit more colour now, but she still seemed so fragile. A knot formed in this through as he stared at her soft features, he couldn't stand to see her so vulnerable.

Suddenly the door opened and Josh crept in. Jim looked up from his coffee momentarily then stared back at the floor. Rick quickly moved his arm off the bed.

Silently, Josh moved to the end of the gurney, picked up the medical chart and studied it with a tired sigh. He looked over to Jim, but failed to catch his glance so he grudgingly turned back to Rick.

"She's going well." Josh forced out quickly. "The anaesthesia should wear out very soon."

Rick gave a nod of understanding then turned back to look at Kate, hoping that her next breath would be the one where she opened her eyes. In the corner of his view he saw Josh remain at the foot of the gurney, watching them. After a moment, Josh turned, but instead of leaving like Rick though he would, he moved to the third chair and sat down, arms crossed.

Rick looked up from Kate and his eyes met Josh's. They weren't angry or filled with contempt or jealousy, but Rick could read their message like a book.

_I'm not leaving until she tells me to. _

* * *

><p>The glint among the tombstones. If he could just get to her in time. She was so close, he had to get there in time…<p>

He snapped back to the hospital room as a finger slowly brushed against his as it lay forgotten on the gurney. He whipped his eyes to Kate's face as it started to move, as her shoulders very slightly shifted their weight.

He shot up from his chair. Jim looked up from the floor and Josh slowly moved towards the bed.

"Kate!" Rick was now leaning over her, one hand carefully rested next to her hand and the other barely stroking her hair. "Kate, can you hear me?"

Her eyes fluttered for a second then lifted open as she stared straight into his. He felt his body tense up with joy, all words failing to come out of his gaping mouth.

She gave a small tired smile. "Hey" A quiet croaked voice rang out from her lips.

"Hey!" He found his voice quickly, an encouraging smile filling his face as his eyes began to burn. He looked down in to the deep well of her eyes once more as he stroked her hair down with his thumb. "Told you you'd never get rid of me."

* * *

><p><strong>NB **

**And she never did. AWWWWWW!**

**Wait – no; that's not the end! There's tons of dark and twistyness that need to get resolved here. Oh no, there be more to come! **

**So, now that I've got you here I thought I might just thank you and say how blown away I was by the response of the first chapter, you guys are absolute champions, and because of your awesomeness, I made sure I put this chapter up extra quick, even though I had sisterly duties. But who needs sisters when you've got fanfiction? Well, I do. But can't I have both? **

**So, I hope you enjoy this chapter – tis just a glimpse of the change of relationship we're going to see, so let's hope the story turns out to be good enough to sink your teeth into! And you know that's where you come in, because without your awesome reviews my Muse crumbles up into a dark corner and starts coming up with lines like "You slept with my wife? I AM your wife!" (and that's not even original).**

**Shall shut up now. Please hollerback! Tooroo!**


	3. Chapter III

**To Save You From Yourself – Chapter III**

The room was silent. Empty. He rested his head against the wall as he watched Kate shift in the gurney slightly and woke up from her drugged sleep.

"Hello again." He muttered as her tired eyes met his. "You were in a lot of um…." His voice choked at the thought of her in pain, the word failing to come from his mouth. "So ah, the doctor gave you some more morphine…"

"Hmm…" She murmured in understanding. Breaking away from his eyes, she darted hers around the empty room then looked back at him. Her brow furrowed slightly. "You ok?" Her croaky voice was tinged with concern.

"What me?" He shot his eyebrows up in surprise. "Why would I - ?" His eyes followed hers as she look down. Just above his wrist on his palm were a few drops of dried blood. He hadn't washed his hands since the funeral, but hours of wringing his hair and rubbing his weary eyes had unstained his hands. He gave an inward sigh of relief that he was wearing a black shirt; lest she see the patches of blood he could feel stiffening the fabric around his stomach.

"Oh that – " he quickly pulled his cuff down, hiding the crimson drops. " – That's nothing. I'm all good." He looked up at her and gave a quick smile as she looked away.

She started to shift in her bed, attempting to prop herself up. He quickly sat up in his chair and grabbed the gurney controller.

"Here, let me get that." He murmured kindly as he placed one arm around her neck, carefully shifting her pillow as he pressed one of the buttons and the gurney slowly screeched to life, raising her to an almost sitting position. Their bodies touched as he pulled the pillow in to support her neck, their eyes met and as his pulse suddenly raced he couldn't help but take in an intoxicating breath of her.

But then she turned away.

The scent of cherries had all but gone, washed away by the sterile stench of the hospital.

He leaned back down on his chair and watched as she placed a softy placed a hand on her stomach with a small grimace.

"How do you feel?" He winced at her pain.

"Fine." She answered shortly.

"And by 'fine' do you mean 'like absolute crap'?" He gave a small downtrodden smile.

She looked over to him. He could tell she was trying to deflect him, that she was trying so desperately to build up those walls around her that had come crashing down the last few days. But he wasn't just another guy. As their eyes met he knew she could never truly let him out, no matter how hard she tried. Just one look and they understood each other. They knew.

"Yeah." She whispered, her eyes starting to redden as the full weight of the week came rushing back… But then she turned away and her face turned stern. "Any news on the shooter?"

"I…" He watched in surprise and worry at her sudden changes of emotion. "I don't know. I've kind of been here…the whole time."

Her face didn't soften. He could tell she was running a million thoughts through her head.

"Your father's just getting something to eat." He tried to distract her. "He was looking a bit frail so ah… Josh took him to the cafeteria. He'll be thrilled to know you're fully awake."

She nodded slightly but her brow was still furrowed. He remembered when they first met; he thought her thinking brow was so cute. Now the intensity of it scared him a little.

"The shooter must have been a professional hit man." She bit her lip in thought. "There's no way the headman would have done his own dirty work. I'll need to get all the info from Ryan and Esposito."

"Hey." He said softly, breaking her train of thought as he placed a comforting hand on hers. "You know they'll see you as soon as they can, but right now you need to rest up, get yourself back to normal."

The physical connection seemed to sway her grim determination. "How long am I going to be here?" She asked quietly, almost to herself.

"Surgeon said at least a week. If all goes well."

She gave a frustrated sigh and looked over to him, her eyes suddenly open to his. He could see them welling up with sadness and hurt.

"I can't just let it go Rick." She uttered, almost pleading, her shields down and vulnerable.

"I know." He whispered as he squeezed her hand tighter. "I know."

"The folder for my mother's case – can you bring it here?" She asked softly.

"Kate…" He tried to stop her, but with the pained look on her face there was no way he could say no. She wouldn't be able to survive a week in hospital without some attempt of finding her assaulter.

Suddenly the handle of the door began to move. She whipped her head to the entrance then back to him. "Please, my key should be with my uniform." She encircled his hand with both of hers as she locked eyes, imploring him.

Jim Beckett and Josh walked in the room and Rick and Kate quickly let go of each other's hands. Jim ran to Kate and gave her a cautious hug and peck on the cheek as Rick stood up silently an edged to the corner of the room. Josh moved to the side of the gurney as started tenderly stroking Kate's hair. Rick tried to swallow a pang of jealously as he surroptisciously opened the plastic bag full of Kate's belongings and pulled out a large key chain.

As he quickly shoved into his pants pockets he saw Kate watching him, a thankful smile on her lips.

"I've ah – " Rick interrupted. "I've got to go change before I stink up the room." He noticed a smile crack on her lips. "But I'll be back. I'll be back very soon."

With one last look at Kate, he was out the door.

_The things we do for love. _

* * *

><p><strong>NB**

**So sorry about the short chapter, but I thought that was a good place to end it before the next one which is: Castle's Adventures In The Outside World! Thrilling stuff! Got to include him wrestling a hippopotamus in there somewhere. … Or maybe that's for another story. **

**So this is all very serious, isn't it? The only other Castle fic I've written was them just throwing witty lines at each other so I'm really hoping this doesn't seem out of place or out of character, but I think it's a tough time for them, cause their roles are kind of reversed. Here's the nine year old on a sugar high trying to protect the baddass Det. Beckett. It's the Twilight Zone! **

**Not Twilight though. No Volvo driving sparkly vampires here. **

**But seriously, **_**Volvos**_**?**

**So, to tell me what you think, please review. I am like a proper Nosferatu vampire when I receive your reviews. I really am, I wring my hands and leer over my laptop while I give an evil laugh. No idea why, I don't think I'm cheating you in any way or at least I hope not… but I guess I love a tad of the Transylvania. **

**But I'll shutup now cause it looks like my note is longer than my story. Thank you so so so much for you feed back though, it really means a lot to me. **

**MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

***poof* **


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